Mule meat

The sailors and conquistadors who "settled" Hispaniola 500+ years ago came from Andalucia in the south of Spain. The African slaves they imported learned their Spanish from these men. The two groups mixed their words as they did their genes and although the language has changed much in the five centuries since Dominican Spanish still bears traces of the Andalusian accent.

Andalucía: You can see why they were good sailors.

Specifically, Dominicans "comer" (eat) many of their letter "s": always at the ends of words and sometimes at the beginning or in the middle. Adios becomes adio' and estamos ("we are") becomes 'tamo', etc.

Hence the following joke:

A man from Barcelona, in northern Spain where they prominently pronounce their "s", is traveling through the Dominican countryside when he asks a campesino: 

"Excuse me, do you use the letter 's' in your Spanish at all?"

The campesino laconically replies: "Pue', má' o meno'."

The punchline is more completely pronounced "Pues, más or menos" and means "Well, more or less." 

The butcher in my pueblo doesn't work everyday. Like many campesinos he strings together a lot of small jobs to make his living. He only works in the carnicería when there is meat to sell and announces his presence by blowing a conch shell.

My office window looks out at the carnicería so I hear him every time.  One day I hear the conch and go to see what he is selling.

"Buen' día' senor, what do you have for sale today?"

"Something very 'pecial: carne de mulo (mule meat)."

"Really! People eat mule meat here? They don't do that in my pai' (pais - country)."

"Sí, it's the best meat."

I was a vegetarian for my entire adult life before coming here so I am not a meat expert. I have heard that horse meat is a delicacy in France so mule meat doesn't seem like much of a stretch. That said, it's really difficult to get around in the campo. Personal vehicles are scarce and some "roads" are so too difficult even to pass on an off-road motorcycle. Not matter how good the meat, it seems like a waste to kill a mule.

"But señor, isn't the mule a really useful animal for carrying things over the through the hills?"

"Sí, it is," he says, looking at my a little confused.

"Then why would someone kill it for the meat?"

He smiles and speaks more slowly: "I don't mean to say mulo (mule) but mulo de cerdo ("mule of the pig")." He pats his thigh emphatically.

I am by this point totally lost. He must read it on my face. Speaking even slower he says:

"Not mulo (mule) but Muslo (thigh): Mussslo de cerdo ("pig thigh").  THAT is the best meat."

One year plus off the veggie wagon I am inclined to agree.

Nice to be noticed!

My entry "A Day in the Life of Hombre Serio Cero" has been republished on the Peace Corps website! They trimmed off some of the fat but the meat remains.

I put a lot of time into this blog so it's nice to know that I'll have chance to reach a broader audience.

I Never Knew: 10 Impressive Adaptive Uses of a Machete

Dominicans in the campo carry machetes everywhere but rarely use the word. Instead they refer to it as a colín. Legend has it that this is a version of the brand name "Collins," the first brand of machete widely available here.

Dominicans now manufacture their own machetes under but still generalize the original brand name in the same way Americans speak of Kleenex and Band-Aids. My favorite Dominican brand? Bellota, whose name translates as "big beautiful thing."

Men put it on in the morning as part of their wardrobe but women and children use it too. My host mom keeps one in the kitchen cupboard. No one blinks to see a muchacho walking down the street with a razor sharp colín dangling loosely from his fingers.

It is used it almost everything. With a little imagination a machete an stand in for almost any other tool. A few examples I have seen with my own eyes:

• Chef's knife
• Wood planer: notch cuchilla (blade) along grain of wood and strike the dull side with a hammer
• Hammer: rotate so that the dull edge faces outward and strike the nail near the hilt
• Screwdriver (flathead only)
• Ruler: drag pencil along straight edge
• Scoring stylus: I have seen this successfully used on glass, ceramic tiles, and zinc roofing panels
• Lawn Mower: squat and hack hierba with cuchilla parallel to the ground
• Hatchet: apply sharp edge vigorously to any stick thinner than your bicep
• Riding crop: apply flat of cuchilla to flank of mount
• Garden trowel

Regular use of a colin means regular maintenance with a lima (file). On days when I get up early I will see my neighbors grinding the edge as they prepare for the work day ahead. Over time this changes the shape and size of the tool. My own colín is as broad as a scimitar but I have seen well-used that are now as narrow as a soldier's rapier.

What a Dollar is Worth

As I write this the current exchange rate is about 47 Dominican pesos to one US dollar. It has been pretty stable throughout my PC service, fluctuating around the 45 peso mark. When converting in my head I round it up to 50 for simplicity's sake.

Dolla dolla bill y'all.

Here is a list of things that cost about 50 pesos or $1 USD.

• 1 botellón (5 gallons) of water safe for the foreign stomach.

A single serve (.5 liter) bottle of water? 10 RD ($.20 USD).

• 50 minutos of cell service 
• .175 liters of VERY low quality rum 

The local nickname for this stuff is chiribita - "sparks."

I can easily eat a full meals worth of calories for less than $1 USD.  50 RD buys:

• 5 sobres de avena lista (individual packets of instant oatmeal)
• 5 heads of ajo (garlic)
• 5 heads of organic butter lechuga (lettuce)
• 10 individually wrapped loaves of "bread" (think hotdog buns).  
• 10 huevos (eggs) bought wholesale by the carton of 25.
• 1 lata of tomatoes

• One used gorra, bought from a street vendor. It seems to be the standard price for a piece of previously worn clothing.

The last time I wore this, a woman called me Donald Trump

.

All of this probably seems pretty comparable to US readers, and it is, until we get to big ticket stuff.

For instance, that same $1 US will cover 2.5 months of our municipal water bill.

50 RD will also buy a 45 minute ride to the nearest town. Sure it's only 7 miles but gas is a lot more expensive here. When I left San Francisco (a 7x7 city) the going rate was $2.25 USD (112.50 RD) for any ride of any length.

A complete shave and a haircut? 100 RD, ($2 US). And by haircut, I mean "straight razor shave to the scalp", why is my preferred style. In a big city, I would pay 200 RD ($4 US) for such service.

A hotel room in Santiago, the nearest big city, is 750 RD ($15 US) a night.  Sure, the accommodations are on par with Motel 6, but it's located in the heart of downtown.

The largest single expense Cat and I pay each month is rent. For a fully furnished, 3 bedroom ranch style house with fruit trees in the back yard we pay 3750 RD - about $75 USD. I defy you to find a place in the US where you could rent a single room for so little. This $75 was after we bargained down from 4000 RD ($80 US) and locals still think we are getting ripped off. A Dominican family would expect to pay about 2000 RD ($40 US) for the same house sans furniture.  

Cat and I had an in depth conversation about money on her podcast El Cuerpo de Cuentos:

• Episode 1
• Episode 2